Just so

Animal Farm

2007-08-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

Animals found in my backyard #1 - Frog in Mr Kool-Aid jug - Oh Yeah!

#2 - Dragonfly on patio chair - preparing for lift off

#3 - my cat Anubis - AKA "The Deflator"

#4 - a friends dog named Rocky - AKA "Baby Terrifier"

More Wasps

2007-08-09T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was at a barbecue yesterday and my old pals the Wasps showed up. They weren't bothering us much, just trying to get a drink. I had to go back to work so I downed my Coke. I thought I felt something in my mouth but couldn't find it, so I drank the last of my Coke. I felt something else in my mouth. It felt like a piece of soggy paper. I moved it to the front of my mouth with my tongue and spit it out. It was a wasp. He seemed confused. Other party goers were seemingly amazed that I didn't panic and run around screaming like a little girl. The wasp died shortly after, not sure why, maybe I should have brushed my teeth that day. My tongue started to hurt a little while later and I chose to believe it was a minor wasp sting and not a heart attack. Then I became concerned as I recalled feeling something in my mouth on the first swallow. I didn't spit anything out that time, so, how long does it take to digest a wasp anyway? Internal wasp stings or indigestion from bad BBQ? Who knows?

Fireball!

2007-08-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

I hate when the human torch comes to visit. Flame Out!

2007-07-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

I noticed my deodorant has a best before date and I couldn't help wondering, what does deodorant smell like when it goes bad?

I hope it's amusing

2007-07-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.deathclock.com/dw.cfm?Day=28&Month=9&Year=1974&Sex=Male&Mode=Normal&bmi=28&smoker=0

You're a strange animal, that's what I know

2007-07-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

Police car tire - foe to snakes

Hail - foe to small birds

Cats - foes to gigantic moths

The sun - foe to baby birds

All the birds died, sadly, the snake was ok, let go in the grass, the enormous moth is battling Godzilla for control of Tokyo

Wasps!

2007-07-07T16:30:00.001-07:00

So, I'm not allergic to wasp stings, that's the good news. Bad news is, five of them tried to test that theory. In the end, they may have won the small battles but I won the war. I didn't kill them, that would bring me bad karma, although I should be owed some good for the numerous swollen areas on my ankles and knee (well, I did kill a few but that was a reflex reaction to them sticking their pointy bits in my ankle and knee) I used the old water hose to knock their nest down. There were about 12 of them. When they tried to investigate I thought they looked thirsty and gave them a drink. Hopefully we are now friends, but not neighbours

My favorite

2007-07-04T15:14:00.000-07:00

Finally, truth in advertising.

2007-06-03T15:48:00.000-07:00

2007-06-03T15:44:00.000-07:00

Lookout on driving tour of Cypress Hills Centre block

Panorama-rama

2007-06-03T15:37:00.000-07:00

Bald Butte in Cypress Hills, SK

2007-05-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Wiggy!

more vacation pics

2007-05-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

The view from our hotel, there are mountains in the mist...possibly gorillas too

Our room at the Marmot Lodge in Jasper

The Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise - rates much the same as Banff

Hotel in Banff, the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel. Rooms from $329 a night until the season starts then they start @ $519 a night

Calgary as seen from the suspension bridge in the Calgary Zoo

2007-04-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

Looks like Corner Gas is not doing so well, man I didn't see that coming in the season finale

2007-04-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Hit parade still rolling

2007-03-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

Recent additions to my morning internal wake up call : Billy Talent and Weezer, I think the songs are called ex-girlfriend and I forget the weezer song but the video had Elisha Cuthbert fronting a Weezer like band

The weirdness continues

2007-03-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

Weird Al, get out of my head. White and Nerdy, this mornings theme song

105.3

2007-03-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

We get a radio station from the states that sometimes is pretty clear. It usually plays pretty good, hard music. Last night I heard Whipping Post by the Allman brothers, and that was what I woke up to this morning. Thanks 105.3 for keeping me from waking up to Destiny's child again

Take that Darwin!

2007-03-19T10:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I mean you Charles Darwin, so much for your theory of evolution. Not saying it never existed but we as a human race decided that we no longer need it. As a result, everybody will breed with anybody, thereby defeating the survivial of the fittest rule. Need proof?
http://www.jerryspringertv.com/

Mad hatter

2007-03-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

This morning it was The Tea Party. It was two different songs as I woke up twice but,both were by The Tea Party.

Weird morning

2007-03-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

This morning it was Weird Al. I like Weird Al, unfortunately it was a cover of an Usher song and I hate Usher. The lyrics are funny though but I was tired and in no mood to laugh.

http://www.weirdal.com/home.htm

Threefer

2007-03-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

This morning I was blessed by waking up several times. Song #1 - Crazy by Gnarls Barkley, Song #2 - Sledge Hammer by Peter Gabriel, Song #3 - I forgot, it's harder to remember when working night shift and waking up every few hours for the kids

Wham, bam!

2007-03-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, the song this morning was "wake me up" by Wham. Appropriate I guess but not a song I like. Luckily, I dozed off and woke to a song by My Chemical Romance. It's on the new cd and I don't know the name of the song, but it would be cool if it was track 10, "Sleep"

Morning songs

2007-03-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today it was "love will keep us together" a jingle from a cell phone or phone company commercial. I don't even know the words except for..love will keep us together. So annoying

She doesn't look a bit like Jebus

2007-03-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

This morning it was "When we were young" by the Killers.

woke up this morning, someone was knocking at my door...

2007-03-11T08:04:00.001-07:00

Every morning I wake up there is a song running through my head. It's there when I wake up and it usually lasts until my shower is over. I don't always remember it, depends on what's going on. This morning it was something by Destiny's Child. I don't even like them and I don't know the name of the song.

and the winner is....

2007-02-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

So Dudley Do right faced off against Lord Buddha. The mountie came out strong, attempting to "maintain the right" but Buddha swept in from the left and soon the mounties pawns and knights had been converted to pacifists. The bishops saw the futility of their way and cloistered themselves in a mountain monastery. Mountie rooks made a valiant last ditch effort to prevent the spread of Buddhism across the board but soon even the king and queen were introducing themselves at parties as Samsara and Dharma. The mountie was upset at his loss but the Buddha reminded him there is no winner, no loser and no chess board. The mountie didn't quite get it so decided to track down Sir Topham Hat for crimes against humanity

more chess

2007-02-22T09:29:00.000-08:00

Once Buddha defeated Bastet, Bastet didn't take it so well. It was a brutal attack! Luckily, Buddha had made friends with the dragon and the attacker was quickly subdued.

Then Cst. Deep Blue took on the little blue engine with the other players judging

Once that was done, Cst Deep Blue watched as the bruin took on Buddha. Cst Deep Blue easily defeated the train, especially since he ad no hands to move the pieces and his engineer had been arrested earlier that day for piracy

More Chess anyone?

2007-02-20T05:58:00.000-08:00

Looks like they've moved on to round two with Buddha taking on the Bastet I guess Buddha defeated Anubis. He was a minor god after all.

Mountie versus crazy frog, so the lizard and the pony were defeated.

Here's a grude match, the railway manager versus his top performer. Will Thomas live up to his reputation as a Really Useful Engine, will Topham Hat 'conduct' himself appropriately?

And the Bruins beat the Rough Riders. He gets a pass to the next round apparently since there are no other inanimate objects to play him

Chess!

2007-02-18T06:41:00.000-08:00

I got a new chess set from my best friend. He's serving in Afghanistan (or maybe he's on holiday in the Domincan republic). Either way I got a cool marble chess set, hand carved, from Afghanistan. Now I need to find someone who knows how to play.

Looks like Buddha is going to take on Anubis. Major Deity versus minor god, who will win?!?

Now it looks like a Bastet is going to take on a dragon. That's one big cat, it looks like the inanimate objects of my den are having a chess tournament.

Crazy lucky money frog versus sand filled lizard!

Pewter Moutie versus Little People Pony. Looks like Buddha has decided to referee. At least Aaron Neville isn't singing the Little People song in the background

Percy against Thomas the tank engine. Who will be the really useful engine? Do I spend too much time watching cartoons with my kids! Yes I do!

Sir Topham Hat versus....Sir Topham Hat? I bet on the Hat, always bet on the hat

Hockey versus football, I have a feeling I know the outcome of this match. It is February after all.

Well looks like round one is over, stay tuned for round two.

Combo

2007-01-26T15:13:00.000-08:00

I've tried some weird food combinations, as my parents will attest to. Most are favourable, however every once in a while, one just doesn't work. Here is a picture to illustrate my recent unfavourable combination of foods not meant to be together.

Cars I'd like to own full size

2007-01-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

These were taken from my son's collection. Some one at the Hot Wheels factory must have gotten into the NyQuil So, this one is the Whip Creamer, and not just the Whip Creamer, it's the Whip Creamer II! I didn't see the first model and what defects inspired a second version. The red piece slides out so you can get into the vehicle but nowhere does it say where the whipped cream is used
This one was a normal looking car..until you add the plastic flames and giant air intake. I guess if you're going shopping at Wal-Mart or something, leave the flames at home, but if you're cruising the old airstrip in town, bring the flames along!
Ah, the old snake mobile, used by snakeman and sidekick, the boy wonder lizard. Oh wait, they don't exist. If they did, only one could sit in the drivers area while the boy wonder would be sitting in the coil on the hot engine. Also, snakeman would have a vicious kink in his neck since his chair faces 30 degrees to the left
Ok who wants a car with a mythical creature painted on the side? Sorry buddy, Hercules, Cerebrus and Dracula are all gone, but what would it take to put you into a nice Cyclops today?
Just a Corvette, nothing funny, I just like corvettes
Ah, the piece de la resistance! Sharkmobile! Actually, maybe it's a killer whalemobile. Whatever, I just hope the mouth is fully functional. Look honey, a slow driver in the fast lane...cue my theme music. Da da..da da...da da da da da da da da!

Merry Giftmas

2006-12-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

2006-12-23T09:46:00.000-08:00

"and those marks Jesus?"
"Those are where I pulled you in your sled. Dude, we were so drunk."

This is the best picture I could get

2006-12-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

After numerous attempts, this is the best picture I have achieved of my shark. Something about the angle of the panels on the tank make it nearly impossible for the fisharazzi to get a picture of this superstar. Also, the water appears red for some reason. Maybe CSI should investigate

Keep on rocking in the incredibly quiet and politically correct free world

2006-12-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

Want to relive your angst filled, anger driven youth but can't get out of your wheel chair? Want to throw a bitching party that'll knock the socks off your neighbours but the nursing home forbids new fangled e-lectronics, and your neighbour forgot his sock suspenders anyway? Want to quietly rock out as you cry yourself to sleep, realizing it's all down hill from here and you'll be dead soon? Then we have the soloution for you!Or you can use them for their intended purpose and let your kids listen to 'daddy's music" without the cursing, depressing lyrics and at ear splitting levels. Will still provide a valid excuse for kids when they later turn to a life of crime and shoot up a school. Useful tip, money in an RRSVP for your kids college fund can also be used for bail! :)

The link to the right will hook you up with the good stuff, and by that I mean the lemonade version of the Jack Daniels metal seen above.

Doe a deer a female deer, buck, a deer without a head

2006-12-15T19:36:00.000-08:00

Tada! Defective deer! Resists every attempt to fix, even in -40 weather! Will dazzle your neighbours with his incredibly flashy body and invisible head! Head moves side to side in incredibly slow fashion, not that you'd notice!
Well, I guess they move fast enough to escape the confines of my flash!
...and I looked back on my life and noticed that in times of trouble there was only one set of footprints. I asked Jesus, "Why did you desert me in my times of most dire need?" Jesus looked at me and said "My son, those were the times I carried you." I said, "Hold the phone here Jesus, those are clearly size twelve winter boots and you're what? an 8 at best. And you're wearing sandals." and he replied "Maybe I was getting a sandwich?"

I rock

2006-12-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

Here's a fire to warm your bones. It should burn well as it is made up of old work that I had done. It was a pleasure to watch it burn. Now that you're warm, some cold pictures
I took this one a few years ago but just found it hidden on my hard drive
This one is from a few days ago. Gotta love that ice fog! There's an idea for a lame horror movie. At least the non-functioning deer don't seem to mind. More photos of the non-functioning deer to follow!

If a pirate saw snow on the horizon, would he say "Snow Ho!"?

2006-12-11T14:16:00.000-08:00

A new addition to the family has kept me away from posting, well, that and sheer laziness, work, first born son and life in general. In the mean time, it snowed. Alot, especially for here, the armpit of Canada.

I guess some kids won't be getting gifts this year. The toy express seems to be having trouble coping with the copius amounts of snow.

This would be about 10 times the snow we got last year, luckily my polar bear fence is working, no polar bears spotted in the back yard yet.

Oh fishmas tree, oh fishmas tree, please don't fall on my house

2006-12-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

So, does this show that I have really industrious (and cold-proof) spiders or that I need to clean around the house more?

Good vs Evil

2006-11-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

I reprise of a paper I wrote in University. It was on whether, in the grand scheme of things, God was winning vs the Devil. At that time I guess I could be called a atheist, although I prefer to remain unclassified on the basis of religion. Basically, what I was kind of taught back in the day when I was a Catholic, was that there was some kind of war from my soul. Using that premise I began to wonder who was wining the battle.

I would assume that the war would be fought by the souls each side had managed to capture, perhaps with angels and demons as generals. Here we see the first indication that my soul may be in trouble. Since I was taught if you sin you go to hell, and there are numerous sins you can accomplish without even trying, I would assume that Satan has a much larger army, like, say China vs Switzerland. You can't eat meat on Friday, that's a sin. You can't lie, that's a sin. You can't dishonor your mother and father, even if they're abusive alcoholics (mine weren't, just an example) that's a sin too. Lucky for you if you do dishonour them, beating your child is a sin too, so look forward to that family reunion in hell and your chance for revenge (also a sin but you're already in hell so what's he going to do, send you to Milwaukee?) So, Satan's army is looking pretty stacked.

Also, consider who each side has in their forces. God has all the smiley happy people like Mother Theresa, the pope, Ned Flanders and every goody two shoes you ever met. Satan has Hitler, Hannibal, Alexander the Great, Ted Bundy, that Russian serial killer who killed about 100 people, plus he probably gets Bruce Lee since he probably ate meat at elast once on a Friday. So, unless Mother Theresa swings a nasty pair of nunchukas, God is screwed.

Of course, Bruce Lee was probably not a christian and subject to either heaven or hell. Likewise for the billions of Hindus, Buddhists and Muslims. Well, I guess they just have to pick sides, but I'm just going to cheer from the sidelines.

Idea/Rant

2006-11-03T23:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's my idea... I want to gather up every scientist (real scientist, I will explain later) and their laboratories and force them to work on something important. I think the first year, every scientist and researcher in the world should work on cancer. It's a pretty big deal and if every single person worked on it, we could cure it, maybe it would take two years for clinical trials, but it would be done. Then after that's done, we'll work on AIDS, then we'll look at others like Malaria, Parkinsons and so forth. Once the major diseases are cured we'll have so many healthy people we'll solve world hunger, in the same manner with every scientist and every lab focusing on one problem. Then we'll stop global warming and the extinction of other life forms. It shouldn't be hard once we start working together as a combined planetary force

Or...Instead of that we can have each country try to solve it's own problems and ignore the massive problems we face as a globe. On top of that, within each country we'll have privately funded labs working on making drugs to cure impotence, hair loss, obesity, finding better ways to make boobs and alter you aesthetically and even the government will waste huge amounts of money funding lame ass projects (I'm looking at you USA, http://www.cagw.org/site/PageServer?pagename=reports_pigbook2006)

I used to work in a lab/research centre for the University of Florida. Each year different groups would give us money to do research, some was legit, some wanted us to find in favour of their product. At the end of the year, whatever money was left over would get spent. We bought trucks, computers, and lots of other, what I would call, luxury items. Sure they made it easier to do research, the new truck did come in handy, but it was unnecessary. The only reason it was purchased was so the following year my boss could say to the donor "We spent all your money, so that means we need at least that much again this year, or even more"

Here's some advice....sometimes animals do things...it's not important why or that we know the reason for why they do them. It's an evolved behaviour and why ever they do it, it's working for them. Leave them alone and let them do their thing and study why humans do things like genocide, attempt to kill the planet and generally treat each other badly instead. NASA, 99 % of the planet is more concerned with problems on earth. We can't collectively get together to solve, well, anything...we're not going to be leaving this messed up planet anytime soon, so get your asses back here and do something worthwhile. No one cares if ants can sort bolts in space (was that from the Simpsons?) Stop wasting our money. Unless you're secretly building a death star so we can take over some other planet or better yet, working on a Genesis project to save our sorry asses, we have better things to do.

USA, China, North Korea, Iran, India, Pakistan...take a step back from the brink here. What are you fuckers doing anyway? I have a great idea for you and the other nuclear powers. Figure out a way to confine the nuclear blasts within imaginary map boundaries and then kindly do the rest of us a favour and blow your selfish, paranoid, military money wasting asses off the face of the map.

That felt good, now, to anyone who reads this and is offended, too bad. You think NASA has legitimate research? Probably, but not worth it in todays world. Not now, maybe never.
Think you need 4000 ICBM warheads? Pull your AK-47 out of your ass and figure out that launching one would probably mean the end of your gun toting, flag waving, self righteous ass.
Like pork barrel politics? That money could be going to health care, education, gun control (obviously not for you USA, who wants that ludicrous idea), environmental issues, you know, things that could actually improve your life, your community, your country and your planet.

In closing, we have enough money, talent, facilities to cure most of our problems, however we are too greedy, short-sighted and ignorant to achieve this now and probably for a long time into the future, but there is hope. Robert Kennedy jr, David Suzuki and their like are fighting for the future and I'd like to thank them and those like them and condemn the rest, especially the money wasters and useless researchers and most politicians (you know who you are)

2006-10-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

So, I came home from work the other day and this was hanging from my door. I figured my son was into some new arts and crafts at daycare and didn't think much of it but then...

... another one appeared hanging in my archway. I asked my wife and she thought I put them there. I began to wonder what the heck was up with these stick thingys.

Then today I come home and there's an 8 foot stick thingy by my hedge. I asked the neighbours and they just laughed and told me I was funny. They said I must be a fan of something called "The Blair Witch Project. " I told them the only Blair witch I knew was on The Facts of Life. Anyway, I guess I better check out this so called project.

Holy Sweet mother of god, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt anyone...I'm so scared

Who's there!?!? Who's out there? Josh?

Mom, I'm so sorry, I'm just going to go stand in the corner now.......

2006-10-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

A non card-playing friend thought this shirt said "I spade seals." I don't spay them, or club them, heart them or diamond them. But the shirt is funny. And remember what Bob Barker always says, help control the pet population, have your pet clubbed or neutered.

Storm video

2006-10-02T17:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKH2U8Vo-Dk

scary head day

2006-08-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

2006-08-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

Pretty sure the tree wasn't like that before the storm. This is the house across the street. Electricity, careful there, it'll roast your eyeballs. When the power lines are down don't you hang around

Stormy Stormerson

2006-08-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

We had a weird storm yesterday, but instead of heading for cover I went outside with my digital camera.

The sky was actually orange. There was a thin slice of sky to the West (this is looking East) where the sun shone through

This is the West view..ahh, all nice and sunny..psych!

As you can see, my gutter could not handle the onslaught of rain

As promised...

2006-07-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

Sar-Omi is watching you

Omi Ulrich wants you to kill Napster!

Ooohhh, Woddy's got cold fingers!
Ne-omi, enter the matrix, and lghten up, geez, it's not the end of the wolrld...oh wait

I have found the weapons of mass destruction...they work for the republicans

Hey Janine, where are we going for our date? Bowling? Sweeeet!

and one for my sister, who loves hippoes..er hippos

Omi's Famous

2006-07-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

Well, he was going to be famous but for some reason, blogspot is conspiring against me. One of the few chances I have to post anything and it won't upload my pictures. Rest assured, they were hilarious! Well, I guess this gives me more time to create...I mean take, more pictures of Omi in various funny and historical places.

Sorry!

2006-07-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, been really busy for a long time. Parents came to visit, so had a little vacation, built a fence, did some other work around the house. Now they're gone and I'm back at work, but we're shorthanded so I'm getting piled on. So busy that Omi still doesn't have his head re-attached. Hopefully I will get time to update and create here more often. In the meantime, here's a quote from Tool. "Not all martyrs see divinity, but at least you tried."

Found : one head

2006-05-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

Looks like he sustained a minor injury.....nothing a little vacation won't fix

First, kung fu your way onto some suitable transportation

Then assert your authority over the local god.....

Mock their military......

Oh no, you've upset your transportation, feet don't fail you now, oh wait, no feet

Dunce!

Reunited at last, at least temporarily.

seek and ye shall find

2006-05-09T13:49:00.000-07:00

Headless no more! Omi's head has been found, and not too much worse for wear. Unfortunately my digital camera conked out so no picture of the long lost head yet. In an attempt to amuse myself, and whoever sees this, I will take interesting pictures of Omi's head around my house and anywhere else I see fit.

It was actually found by the small child who decapitated him in the first place under my computer desk. Maybe it was his way of repaying some of the bad karma he accrued for removing it in the first place.

Lyrical clothing

2006-04-30T23:29:00.000-07:00

I heard this song the other day and liked the lyric. Think I might do some more song lyrics or movie quotes on t-shirts

new shirt

2006-04-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

Or, do us a favour, either way...

More t-shirt fun

2006-04-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

May have heard something like this elsewhere.Oh well, not like I'm making money off it.

shirts

2006-04-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me you can't wear a t-shirt with nothing on it because it's like you have nothing to say, so I made a couple of t-shirts to say a few things.

Almost summer

2006-04-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

It's almost summer, you know what that means
http://www.blizzardfanclub.com/contest/internal_images/wallpapers/shatter_1024.jpg

Origin

2006-04-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

So, the name of the Blog is Headless Omi. My sister gave me a kung fu bobblehead guy that reminded me of Omi from a cartoon called Xiaolin Showdown. Then, he ws decapitated by a small child, who happened to have better kung fu than a wooden bobblehead. Voila, a blog is born. Show 'em my mascot!

Here's the real Omi and what the head of the fallen Shaolin warrior above might have looked like : http://www2.warnerbros.com/xiaolin/main.html

That's all for now. If I find his head I'll post it, then re-capitate him.